Dida's New Blog

Hello! It's been so long since I last posted anything on this blog. Fret not. I will write more often! I've created a new blog for me to write stuff that are more serious as I've decided to use this blog as my creative writing portfolio. So if any of you would like to catch up with my writings, go visit my new blog. Thanks!

Dear 2016: An Open Letter

Dear 2016,

I have gone through a lot of things with you. A lot more than I've been through before. That's why I feel the need to write you this letter. I want to recount and relive the highlights of our times together.

People say that you're a disaster for all the loss you've given them. You took the entertainers whom we all loved deeply, like Alan Rickman and George Michael. You let Brexit happened and a racist became the president of such a powerful country. And you seem to stop peace from existing with the countless terrorist attack and wars.

But hey, you're not at all a disaster to me. In fact, you're the opposite.

I completely lost myself somewhere along the way. I was hopeless. I stopped believing. I really did. But then I found me again, after the hardships and my all time low. You showed me the people who actually care about me, the people who are worth wasting time with. You taught me that it was time to forgive and let go of all the people who were once those I knew best, but now I barely talk to. You taught me that it's alright to be underestimated as long as I can prove them wrong.

You are a gate of opportunities. Opportunities I thought I didn't deserve. Opportunities I don't dare to miss and opportunities I don't dare to try. I wish you could have hit me harder with the positivity rather than the negativity. You've made me feel utterly anxious and pessimistic that I didn't think I was able to dream again. But now I'd say that I'm glad you did that to me, because you've challenged the fighter in me. And I've won. I've won, haven't I?

You're the one who arranged my meetings with such lovely and amazing people from around the world. The one who reunites me with my loyal friends and family. The one who constantly gave me new adventures to experience. The one who made me put a little more faith in myself in the most far-fetched ways possible.

You're a roller coaster of hopelessness and wishful thinking. A road sign that says 'Paradise' yet instead led me to an emotional wreck. A labyrinth with tricky mischief and unbelievable surprises. You're the best friend and arch enemy blended together.

Through a series of tragedies, you've made me stronger than I've ever been. Being with you might just be the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Thank you. For the countless joy and regret. For the opportunities and misfortunes. And for the highest high and the lowest low you've given me. I feel blessed.

Thank you, once again. And good bye.

Love,
A wishful wanderer.

pay it forward

i guess
that's what happens.

for
being unable
to save
the ones you love,

does not mean
being unable
to help
those in the same boat

Singapore, 23/9/2016

Could you see me from up there?
Did you see me today?

I wish I could have done that for you

Thoughts on Nationalism

This is the first time I'm writing something (sort of) serious in this blog. To begin, I would like to ask. What is nationalism? I'm pretty sure that each of us has different definitions. Well, to me, nationalism is a form of love to a nation. It gives a sense of pride to be a part of that nation without feeling as if it is the most superior nation.

So, moving on to another paragraph, to write about something like this you might want to question how proud am I exactly of Indonesia? How strong is my nationalism? Frankly, I don't really know, but what I do know is that it gets stronger. 

There are a lot of things I hate about my country. Like how ignorant many people are about the environment. You can find trash all over the place, even in beaches and mountains, terrible traffic jams because almost everyone uses their private vehicles, and low concern about plastic usage. This one time I gave my reusable bag to a cashier in a well-known convenience store, but instead she refused and told me, "It's okay. It's free." Or how the government invalidates some groups' religions by setting such ridiculous standards of defining a religion, like it must have only one God and a divine text. Truth is, a lot of indigenous tribes have their own 'religion' which is polytheistic and only has oral traditions. The government requires the citizens to belong in one of the official religions, so you cannot be an atheist or adherent of other religions. Ironically, it is stated in the 1945 Constitution article 29 paragraph 2 that each citizen has their RIGHT to choose their religion (more on that later). 

It used to be so bad that I wanted to get out of there and not come back. I'm not like that anymore. Especially now that I am no longer living in my country (at least for about five months).

I'm writing this in my dorm room in National University of Singapore (more on that, also, later). I've met a lot of people from a lot of different countries, and I've learnt a lot in less than a month. 

I have an English friend who is visiting Bali, Indonesia next month. She's been asking me many times about which places she should go to. I, of course, was happy to promote my own country. I told her the best places I've gone to and even showed her pictures of them. I remembered saying, "Honestly, Indonesia has the best beaches, mountains, and nature." Then, she asked me something that made me think deep along the night, "You basically have everything, so why are you even here?"

I couldn't answer it seriously because I didn't know how to say it. The thing is, I always want to travel. My motivation has always been my immense curiosity. I couldn't just stay in one place for the rest of my life. All I wanted to do was and always has been traveling and finding out how it is in different countries. 

But back then I just wanted to get away. Then I realized that even the most developed countries have their flaws. I realized that Indonesia has all the potentials, all the resources. It's just that we don't make the best of it. I feel as if many of my generation just don't care anymore and have the same thoughts I had years ago. Praising other countries and dissing their own. That, I admit, I still sometimes do. 

I guess for now I'm doing things for my own and hoping that whatever I do and will do can benefit Indonesia whether directly or not.

I've planned to go around the world, yet still give back to my homeland. I have my list written down. Why leave? Indonesia is a very big country and it has hundreds of tribes, hundreds of local cultures, but aren't they the same? We may have different locals but there's only one national culture. We are the same people, the same nation. We have the same history, norms, and values. I prefer to experience things that differ greatly and would make me realize how we could have done things better. How we could do things better if we look at different perspectives. I feel like it would help so much more than just staying where we are.

Another thing is, I feel like my sense of nationalism gets even stronger the longer I spend time abroad. I had the chance to celebrate Indonesia's independence day on the 17th of August in the Indonesian Embassy for Singapore. I think it was the time I was most excited for a flag ceremony. I've never felt anything like it before. It's like if your country's a person, you just want to do whatever it is to make it happy. It makes me want to do better in everything, or at least do my best to get rid of the negative stereotypes of Indonesians.

Now you may question (again) if I do love my country, why do I write this in English? First, I want my blog to be read not only by Indonesians, but also by people from other countries. I've been looking at my blog views' statistics, and I found out that there are people from the US and different parts of Europe who opened it. I'd say why not write in English? Second, if nationalism counts on how often we speak in Bahasa, how would we compete globally then? Third, need I remind you that there are also Indonesians who were born foreigners. They had to do a naturalization in order to achieve the nationality, and who knows maybe some of them can't even speak Bahasa. If they didn't love the country in the first place, then why would they go through a complicated process to be an Indonesian? Language won't matter. It's what you do for your country that matters. I hope I can do much for it, and I hope so can you.