Things I Wish You Knew

for some reason I always am aware
that I'm growing up,
that I'm putting distance and invisible walls around me,
that my kind of comfort draws me away from everyone else,
and that includes you.

but I have always wanted to tell you this
in a way that I could never have said in person
because words fail me.

I look at you and I see that one person;
the one most precious of all,
the one who'd been here
since the dawn of day,
the one I hope would still be
until the sunset of my life.

I look at you and I see the wrongs I've done;
the wrongs I never know how to make right
the wrongs I truly am sorry for committing
and yet words fail me.

I look at you and I swallow the very thing I have always
wanted to tell you
so instead, I write it down.

tongue tied and throat burnt, I write it down;
how thankful I am for having you
and that I love you, always.

and happy birthday..

28 February 2016